6.6.11

Pillow Talk

I lay in bed last night and before finally slipping into my slumber i had a conversation with myself. Not aloud lol i'm not that much a nut, but internally; i discussed where i was in life and where i wanted to be. As a child you always image how life's gonna be when your a grown up. Well i am a grown up and i couldn't be further away from that childhood image. I envision that by the rip old age of 21 i'd be in my career with a steady relationship or marriage a nice home dog car and maybe a little one...what made me think that by 21 that's be my reality, why did i feel like i had to have it all figured out? Why do i still feel as if i should have it all figured out? Rushing so much on myself, just makes me feel as if i've failed and is to far behind in life. I'm 21 for heavens sake, and when i look at what i do have i'm well ahead of the people in my age group. But it doesn't feel like enough. after some more thoughts and some "A.D.D" moments i came to the conclusion that i was gonna try my damnest to live life as it comes day to day and make the best decisions i know how. Because at the end of the day i'm the determinate of my happiness and if i waste away stressing what i don't have and worrying about what i do have i'm gonna miss the blessings that await me....SO, GOOD MORNING WORLD...and thank you lord for all you've given to me