16.9.10

...from a compulsive rambler

Why do I always end up this way?...Hurt, Tired, Fighting the feelings to just give up. And your always at. Taking in consideration that in this case you = multiple people summed up into the root of all evil. It starts out the same...you've taking interest in me (vise verse ) we exchange numbers plan to hang out and instantly become close. Maybe I'm to open, maybe I'm allowing you to get close way too fast. An before I know it I'm your ride or die even after you pull the carpet clean from under me. Going out of my way to insure your happy at all times, putting your feelings before my own...to look like a fool caught with my pants down. When you call i answer you need money I make a withdrawal somewhere to sleep...here I'll take the couch. I confuse these feelings for love and I just assume you feel the same only when it's too late do I realize I was just victim to your game. Sad thing is this happens time and time again never learning always saying not next time I promise. A promise I break repeatedly! This time instead of saying no it wont happen I'm going to say please don't let it happen. I'm the kinda girl that forever believes in happy ever after so give up on it I can't. But I can't continue on this way...I fight so hard to let you in let you get comfortable to the point were I'm comfortable with you there...unable to let you leave until you do and I stuck in my feelings trying to figure what happened where did I miss this up this time? You disappear leaving me torn the reappear as I've finally patched up my wounds...with a excuse or a sob story and there I am with open arms...oh you need someplace to sleep again no worries my beds still welcoming. UGH! done with the likes of yous' and this time i mean it seriously