14.1.11

Grenade

There's been this calm that's takin a hold of me and its like I can feel the fire bubbling just under the surface, yet I'm content in this calm. I'm an emotional person we all know what and I ride my highs as I do my lows with a smile until i crack and spew all that the dam was once holdin back. Funny how you learn yourself and know just when your gonna lose it. But I guess if anyone is to know that, it would be yourself...lol...i'd like to believe my life is just a constant throwing of curve balls and i can't say I'd want it any other way. I like the not knowing whats around the corner but i have a difficult time with change..I kno I kno change is constant and needed and blah blah blah CHANGE MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE OK! lol
I love writing on this thing it always make me feel better and like even when what I originally wanted to get out doesn't necessarily come out I still feel this release and i can breath easy. Well for a while until something else bothers me and I remember I own this thing. YES I OWN IT...THESE ARE MY RANDOM THOUGHTS...ALL MINES! lol
I kno most people own a blog and they have some deep tale, or the worldly news, or the latest trend, all on display for consumers. I on the other hand treat my blog like my diary random burst of thoughts I can't find any other place to put em. Except when I put them here I kinda hope someone finds them and can relate some how.
*OH lol I'm goin to Maine this weekend to visit Grace again! lol I'm both excited and nervous. One I don't really like planes and Two I'm not too sure I want to hear all the advice she's gonna shovel down my throat. I mean she has good intentions but I have a plan it's takin a little longer to fulfill tis all.